So, I haven't written in my jounal in a long time! I'm graduating photography school in Oklahoma City on Wednesday and then I'm moving back to abilene for the summer to relax. I've really thrown myself into my photography, although I haven't gotten around to submitting much yet. My boyfriend of the years left me about a month ago, and it's been one of the hardest things I've had to overcome. He really, screwed me over.. and.. He fucking broke my heart. and he broke a lot of promises. but, i've got other plans anyways. he's always all fucked up.. coked out and drunk all the time. i like to party, don't get me wrong.. but i have my limits.
He was my first love.. my only love. and i can't say i was ready for this. but.. i'm sort of excited to get my life started, according to me. i'm going to try to keep men out of the picture. well, serious relationships anyways.
I'm convinced that I should stay away from Leo males. As a leo myself, there's naturally a certain kind of balance, but then a sort of large imbalance.
I've met a lot of cool people while i've been in oklahoma city and i'm a little bit sad to be leaving, but then again, not really. it's like.. everywhere i go, josh has something to do w/ everything and i just want him out of my life for good. i've got a lot of people that are looking forward to my return to kansas. so.. i'm pretty excited to be around all my old friends. and of course my family.
As far as.. everything.. It's been a very rough time. but.. much needed i suppose. a turning point in my life. a new chapter.. whatever you wanna call. finally growing up. who knows..but.. i'm just ready to get my life on track, the way that i want it to.
i hope everyone is doing well! and i'm not dead! haha.. i'm still kickin so,
i plan on getting on more often! love you all!
<3 Sam

I got arrested and charged with some things i'm not proud of. i got kicked out of school, and i lost my job. but suprisingly, things are ok. i got charged with possession of marijuana and possession of paraphanilia. but i should be off diversion in a few months. I'll be moving to oklahoma with my boyfriend in June. i'm excited.. i'll be attending photography school in Moore. I can't wait to get out!! I'm ready for a real change. change in scenery.. people.. etc. anyways. i thought i'd let all of you know that i'm not dead.. haha.. still alive and kickin!
x0x0
Sam

For those of you who love Tool or A Perfect Circle.. Maynard has a new band!
Puscifer.

Man.. It's been a long time since I've devoted some time on this website. I feel bad for neglecting. Let's see.. I've got boyfriends in jail.. getting back together with ex's.. drug use and abuse.. struggling with a suspended liscence.. that's my summer.

One minute I'm up. The next I'm down. It's like someone is playing me as a puppet. The control over my emotions are limited. But.. I can't completely complain. I'm in love.. a part of me DOESN'T WANT TO BE. But i've been embracing it the best I can. However.. expecting the worst. Hoping for the best. There's nothing better than feeling love from somebody that affects you so deeply. WE lost eachother once, over.. the most senseless thing. But we both realized after our departure, what we had when we lost it. So.. we're back together.. better than ever. But, on the inside. I'm not satisfied. It's not him. not him at all. In fact, he's my utopia. but there's something missing in my life. It seems like if I don't find out soon.. the puzzle i've become is going to fall apart without the last piece.
i'm thinking..
i'm anticipating.

I'll..let you all know..

x0x0
<3Sam